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Kissing Techniques 

Kissing Techniques!
The key to good kissing is creativity, active listening, and changing patterns. Creativity speaks for itself. Creativity includes trying new ideas, and/or new combinations of movements, locations and moods. Active listening refers to paying attention to your partner's verbal and non-verbal signals. Is your partner currently excited? Is your partner in a happy or sad mood? What does your partner want to do? Is your partner wishing for a quite evening of talking, or does he/she want a romantic encounter, a quickie, or animalistic lustful encounter? Which movements turn your partner on the most? Which ones the least? Changing patterns refers to the alterations of types of kisses used.

Half of a good kiss is the anticipation of the imagination about what will follow and what this kiss means. Very rarely will a partner complain that the pace is too slow. The slowness can actually raise the sexual tension by 'pacing' the sexual encounter. Each stage will have to be fully explored before moving on. Sometimes, the simple act of kissing is enough. Kissing does not always lead to intercourse. Sometimes a kiss is exactly what a couple wants, something steamy, hot, romantic, and connected. A frequent mistake that long term couples make is that a kiss is always a signal to intercourse. Or that a kiss should always follow a set order and path. Routines (while pleasurable) can also be deadly. Routines sometimes can act to diminish the excitement, because the other person already knows exactly what will come next. In that way, a 'first' with someone new is always exciting, because you simply have no idea about what to expect. Therefore, in an effort to help people 'break' old patterns a set of different types of kisses have been collected. It is my hope that you will all, on your next date, keep these ideas in mind and practice them on your next kiss.

Types of kissing

  • Simple fast kiss on the lips.
  • Wet fast kiss on the lips.
  • Dry fast kiss on the lips.
  • Suspenseful kiss on the lips. The type that has a long build-up and both parties wonder when the other one will start to lean over… or if the other person is even interested.
  • Elongated kiss. This one involves a bit of mouth movement (opening and closing).
  • Elongated kiss, with the use of your tongue. Imagine sucking on your arm, while using your tongue to DAINTILY pull in the skin, and the DAINTILY push the skin back onto the arm. Another way to imagine this is, to think of using your tongue to 'knead" the skin on the arm. Similar to 'kneading" bread. The movements are best when slow, steady and precise.
  • Slobbery kiss. This is excellent for cunnilingus and fellatio. The saliva acts as lubrication. However, at all other times, unless specifically requested, avoid the slobbery kiss.
  • Wetting lips kiss. Run your tongue along the contours of their lips.
  • Sucking kiss. Exactly that. Suck on their lips.
  • Upper lip kiss. Only kiss the upper part of the lip.
  • Lower lip kiss. Only kiss the lower part of the lip.
  • The nibbling kiss. Literally, nibble on their lips and nibble/kiss all over their cheeks and ears.
  • Tongue sucker kiss. Literally, suck on your partner's tongue as if it was a finger.
  • Teeth cleaner kiss. While kissing, run your tongue along the inside of their mouth. Explore the structure of your partner's teeth. Feel each tooth (within reason), one by one. By following each grove, note the texture (s) of the tooth.
  • Tongue player kiss. Use your tongue to play with their tongue.
  • Mouth explorer kiss. Use your tongue to explore the rest of your partner's mouth. What does the inside of your partner's cheek feel like, the back of the lips? Does it feel dry, hard, of firm?
  • Public kiss. Kiss your partner in public, kiss your partner in private.

Types of kiss

  • Motion kiss. Change kissing speeds. Begin super slow, and then let yourself speed up. The beginning part of the kiss should last at least 10 minutes, then after your partner can not stand it any longer speed up. Then, do not forget to slow your speed down. Too much of anything is not a good thing. Frequent subtle alterations, keeps the person guessing as to what will come next.
  • Loud kiss. Kiss your partner while making loud kissing noises.
  • Silent kiss. Kiss your partner without making any noise - best to practice when someone is around and you do not want to be heard.
  • Copycat kiss. Kiss your partner the exact way that she/he kisses you. Follow your partner's lead.
  • Open eyed kiss. Maintain eye contact during kissing.
  • Closed eye kiss. Close your eyes and imagine how this kiss will lead to the best sexual encounter ever imaginable.
  • Lick kiss. While kissing, use your tongue to lick her tongue, her teeth, and the roof of her mouth. Do not confuse this 'lick' with a dog's sloppy wet kiss. This 'lick' is very precise. This technique is meant to be used to pull your partner's mouth slightly closer to yours and to feel what your partner feels like. Please note, your partner's mouth should be relatively dry afterwards.
  • Talking kiss. The talking kiss refers to whispering sweet nothings to your partner as you kiss them on their lips. In between each kiss or two, while still invading their space, sharing thoughts with them about how much you like them, or how much they turn you on. (i.e. the dress you wore last night, your eyes, the way you handled the situation at dinner etc).
  • Elevator kiss. Sneak a kiss in to your partner when you are on the elevator and no one else is around.
  • Peck kiss. Just a fast kiss on the lips, where you literally peck your partner on the lips.
  • Isolated kiss. Just one kiss.

Tips written by Alex Robboy, LSW

 

 

 

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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS

Ms. Robboy is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of The Center for Growth Inc and How To Have Good Sex Inc.  Alex practices marriage and family therapy and sex therapy, and also conducts periodic seminars about human sexuality throughout the northeastern United States.

Ms. Robboy graduated from the University of Pennsylvania where she earned a Masters degree in Social Work, a Certificate of Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality Education and a Post-Masters Certificate in Marriage Counseling & Sex Therapy. Through the American Board of Sexology, she is a board certified sexologist and through the American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists a certified sex therapist.  Additionally, she is a licensed clinical social worker and a member of the American Board of Marriage and Family Therapy.

 

  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to alex@howtohavegoodsex.com and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 
                                                                                    

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