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Pleasing a woman
How To Have Good Sex, Inc.

HTHGS: How to please my g.f (written by Shan & Claude) 

Ask Shan & Claude, 
I'm a 19 year old boy from Sweden with the most wonderful Girlfriend a man can ever get. When we're having fun with each other, she wants me to play/suck on her breasts. On a serious talk show they talked about giving women orgasms by stimulating her nipples. I want to learn how to give my girlfriend an orgasm by playing/sucking on her breasts. Please help me with this... problem. I really want to surprise her by giving her an orgasm thru here "favorite place" on here body. P.s. I hope you can understand my question, because of the grammar, which isn't the best. 
Swedish Guy 

Dear Swedish guy, 
We want you to know that this is a sweet goal but a very difficult one! Everyone has different zones of pleasure. If her nipples do not get her off they may not ever get her off. It would be like her sucking your elbow trying to get you to orgasm. Some people can get off that way but usually only if they like that! You can use fantasy and extended stimulation to increase the chances of orgasm but you may be disappointed because we doubt you will be able to surprise her with an orgasm by doing some physical technique. 
Shannon and Claudette 
PS You grammar was better than some people who write us from the USA!

HTHGS: How to be a good lover (written by Shan & Claude)

Ask Shan and Claude,
My name is Michael, and there is this girl called Kate that I am real close to, now obviously she's done everything sexually active but I haven’t! All that has happened between us is she has tossed me off! Now I want to be able to pleasure her, n I am kind of scared! She's on about it all the time to me......and I really want it to go further but I am not sure what to do. When I finger her I want it to be better than she's ever had, so I need to no what to do, I am sure after that I will be fine, she wants me to shag her so bad!!!!!! Please help me. -- Mike

Dear Mike,
We think it is admirable that you are asking questions about how to be a good lover! Good for you. We have many things to say… every woman is different. Some women love to be “fingered” and others not so much. Some like their clitoris rubbed others not so much. We would recommend that you do not forget that the entire body can be erogenous (capable of pleasure) so if you focus on all of her body and not just on what is between her legs you may find that it really blows her away. If you really want to take a chance admit to her that you are a little nervous and would love to figure it out with her. Just because you are a guy does not mean you have to know everything! Take the time and both figure out what she loves (and what YOU love) then you will both be proud of your accomplishments. The last thing we wanted to say is that you may eventually have intercourse and if you do you both should use protection/birth control of some type. We assume that neither of you wants a disease or virus and would rather enjoy pleasure without worrying about conception. You have been brave enough to ask for the experts for opinions – be brave enough to communicate with her and take care of your sexual health. Shan & Claude

HTHGS: How to impress a woman (written by Shan & Claude)
Ask Shan & Claude,
I just started seeing this girl, anyway I really want to impress her so I have a few questions if that's okay? In one of your articles you talk about finding the g-spot, I think I have a rough idea where it is, however, the article says I should enter the vagina with two fingers, but then goes on to say how the index finger is the one that performs the "come here" motion, what do I do with the other finger? Also is it best to start with the fingers and then when she has become very excited start the licking, or should I try them simultaneously? Obviously considering I have only been seeing her for a couple of weeks, we don't want full sex yet, so getting her to orgasm through cunningulus is the aim. 

Dear cunnilingus aim,
The other finger generally supports the index finger as it can be tiring. Licking/sucking and manual stimulation is generally an excellent technique (though everyone is different). Do whatever gets the best reaction from her!!! Try it one way and see what she does or how she reacts! Drive her crazy! Shan and Claude



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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS
"Alex" Caroline Robboy is a certified sex therapist through the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists and an American Board Certified Sexologist. In addition, she is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and a member of the North American Society for Psychological Obstetrics and Gynecology.


  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 

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