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Past Tips |
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Oral
Sex
HTHGS: Tips for the woman receiving Cunnilingus
Throughout the entire time that you are receiving cunnilingus focus squeezing
your PC muscles and keeping your legs
flexed. Squeezing your PC muscles will help you keep your mind focused on the
genital sensations that you are feeling (and of course enhancing them by adding
your own special form of self-touch). Flexing your legs will force you to tilt
your pelvis forward, which generally enhances the position that you are in to
receive better oral stimulation. Do not ask me for details on this one. I could
not tell you exactly why the leg flexing works, I just know that most of my
clients and even friends report that it enhances their sexual pleasuring.
Cunnilingus
Many novices begin cunnilingus (oral sex) by spreading the woman's legs apart
and putting their mouth on her genitals. They then begin licking, sucking and
nibbling the various parts of her vulva. The only technique used is one of pure
luck. Whatever gets touched, gets touched. Unfortunately for the woman receiving
the stimulation, what often gets overlooked is the actual way the tongue is
being used to arouse her. The partner often is so focused on covering all the
genital parts and exploring that she/he forgets that it is not only what is
being touched, but the way it is being touched that is critical. Thus, to begin
any kind of detailed discussion on cunnilingus requires a discussion on tongue
usage. There are six primary types of tongue positions. Each tongue position has
its own unique role in the art of love making, and of course, its own special
exercise program to strengthen not only the tongue muscles, but a person's
voluntary control over its usage.
The next time that you are engaging in cunnilingus, pay attention to the way
that you use your tongue. Try to determine which category of tongue technique
you usually find yourself using. Why is that? Was that a conscious choice? Did
your partner tell you that she likes it better that way, or this way? The next
time that the two of you are together, try switching your tongue positions and
see how that influences her reaction to your forms of touch.
The six primary types of tongue positions used in cunnilingus are the
following:
*The sharp, wide tongue: To achieve this position, stick your tongue as far
out of your mouth as possible, then try to touch your nose. Once you are in this
position, hold the same muscle groups still and begin moving your tongue around.
Practice five sets of three, moving the tongue first in circular motions, then
up and down.
*The sharp, round tongue: To achieve this position, point your tongue while
simultaneously trying to make the top of your tongue touch the roof of your
mouth and the bottom of your tongue touch the bottom of your mouth. Once you are
in this position, practice moving your tongue in and out of your mouth while
keeping the tongue hard and round. For the more advanced student, try keeping
your mouth closed and circling your tongue around inside of it, while of course,
maintaining position.
*Flat, soft, wide tongue: To achieve this position, flatten your tongue in
your mouth. Try to make your tongue rest gently on the bottom teeth. Once you
have accomplished this, slowly, while holding the position, move your tongue
outside the mouth. Practice curling the wide tip of the tongue upward, downward
and side to side. This too, practice for five sets of three, while holding each
move for 2 seconds.
*Flat, hard, wide tongue: To achieve this position, flatten your tongue in
your mouth. Cover all your bottom teeth with your mouth. Using some force, try
to explode your tongue in all the side positions. Using all the muscles in your
tongue, try to move your tongue around. Move it both in and out of your mouth,
while maintaining the position of evenly wide and hard.
*Upside down tongue: To achieve this position, turn your tongue upside down
in your mouth. Then try sticking it outside of your mouth, all the while
maintaining the position.
*Side curled tongue: To achieve this position, curl the two sides of your
tongue until the two sides of your tongue touch each other. Then stick your
tongue outside of your mouth. While maintaining position, practice circling your
tongue clockwise and counter-clockwise. For the more advanced tongue student,
try combining tongue positions. See if you can create some other ones that have
not been included in this e-mail.
Take each tongue position (The sharp wide tongue, The sharp round tongue,
Flat soft wide tongue, Flat hard wide tongue, Upside down tongue, Side curled
tongue) and begin generically touching each part of your partner's vulva. This
is actually harder than it sounds. Most often people find themselves forgetting
to stay true to form and loosen up. This will not do. You must hold the
position. Many people find that doing the tongue exercises, mentioned in the
previous tips while touching a particular part of her vulva extremely helpful.
As you go, as her if she likes choice A or choice B better. This will guide you
to discover your partners likes and dislikes.
* Some people report that using flavored oils on your partner's vulva while
doing these exercises can be especially rewarding for a hard workout well done!
Please note that while using your tongue to touch your own arm or your
partner's vulva that your tongue may soon feel dry. This frequently happens and
in fact, tongue position often is irrelevant. All six positions will have
minimal influence on this situation (Sharp wide tongue/Sharp round tongue /
Flat, soft wide tongue / Flat, hard wide tongue /Upside down tongue / Side
curled tongue). However, there is a simple technique that you can use to
eliminate this situation. Begin the lick with the tip of your tongue being
moist/slightly wet from your own saliva.
After a few minutes of touching either yourself or your partner, your mouth
will naturally start producing saliva. The key thing here, is to always keep
your tongue moist, without drooling. I highly recommend practicing on the
different amounts of saliva necessary on your own arm first. One of the worst
things is for a partner to play to rough on the genital area. Lubrication helps
things continue to feel smooth. If you are having difficulty balancing the art
of salivating but not drooling, try buying some flavored oils. One of the brands
which is useful is called Hot Stuff. It comes in all flavors. This way, the
vagina not only tastes like strawberries, or whatever flavor you choose, but
there is enough lubrication that neither one of you need to worry about your
tongue sticking.
Some women report that their favorite position for oral sex is to have their
legs spread open with their partner kneeling in front of them. Others state that
they are most excited when they are sitting on a table top, slightly slouched
with their partner just barely reaching genital level. Furthermore, some women
go crazy for the combination of sex toys with oral sex. This way they can
receive multiple forms of stimulation all at the same time. Either way, I highly
recommend experimentation using as many different creative positions imaginable
to help increase not only your knowledge of how various positions influence each
of your styles, but to spice things up a bit. Good sex involves a sense of
pattern, often coming from an awareness of what turns your partner on, but a
willingness to expand your brain to try something new that you haven't done in
quite the same way before.
Now that the two of you are in position and are all ready to begin, you, the
giver, will need to determine which of two extremes you would like to begin
with. One is slow, geared to making your partner scream with impatience as you
slowly tease her (i.e., touching everything but her vulva). This means spending
an extra long time kissing, licking and nibbling her inner thighs, while slowly
working your way up to where her legs meet. The other way is one of urgency. You
need to touch her vulva without any further delays. You know that if you do not
get your mouth on her lips immediately either you or she could pass out. With
this style, there is no teasing, just direct genital stimulation. Both are
equally important and have their high points.
Note that experimentation may bring up all kinds of feelings. Your partner
could feel guilty that she likes your penetrating her with a dildo while licking
her clitoris. Though the stimulation feels good, she may believe the use of sex
toys is morally wrong. Lastly, maybe your partner is so blown away by the new
experience that she does not have the language to express what she is feeling.
Regardless of you or your partners reaction it’s ok. There is no
"right" or "wrong" feeling. The point of experimentation is
merely to explore each of your likes and dislikes. Once the two of you are able
to identify what feels good, then the two of you will be in a better position to
determine what types of behaviors you would like to further explore / practice.
Tips written by Alex Robboy, LSW
HTHGS: Tip for the person giving
cunnilingus
Try using the new vibrator Tongue
Joy It
is a vibrator that fits over the tongue. For more details check out their
website Tongue
Joy
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