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Tips for better Fellatio (blow
job / giving head)
Giving good fellatio (written
by Alex Robboy LCSW, CAS)
Secrets of a good blow-job (written
by Alex Robboy LCSW, CAS)
& oral sex (written by Alex Robboy LCSW,CAS)
Fellatio (Written by Alex Robboy LCSW, CAS)
Blowjobs (written by Calee Spinney, BA)
reflex (written by Lambros, BA)
HTHGS: Giving good fellatio
Giving good fellatio can be much more complex than simply
bobbing ones head up and down.
- Irrumination Your mouth is a mere receptacle to his
- Your mouth is active . . . seeks out the most sensitive
- Head of the penis
- Coronal ridge (around the base of the glands)
- Raphe (the line running down the underside of the penis
- Change speeds
- Change the degree of sucking (hard to soft)
- Use your hand and mouth simultaneously (hand job / blow
job at the same time)
- Change his position
- Lying down
- In a closet
- While he is talking on the telephone
- In a classroom
- In the kitchen
- Under the bed
- Deep throat even though this is not a fancy technique,
many people have difficulties doing this. Take in as much of his penis at
one time as possible.
Tips written by Alex Robboy, LCSW, CAS
Secrets of a good blow-job
Every time I give blow jobs, my jaw starts to hurt. Is this because of the way
my mouth is positioned on the penis? It's annoying to my boyfriend because I
have to take breaks and he wants to hurry up and spill his load. How do I keep
my jaw from hurting so much when I give oral sex? Thanks!
You are not alone. Most women (and gay men) have experienced jaw soreness from
giving fellatio. In fact, it takes most people a few weeks of giving regular
fellatio to not feel sore afterwards. In addition to practice, there are some
secrets to giving good fellatio. If
you are a man, please stop reading here. This tip is for females only.
Use your mouth for the tip of the penis,
and let your hand to the rest of the work.
This technique is most effective when you lubricate the shaft of his
penis with copious amounts of saliva. The
combination of a ‘hand-job’ and a ‘blow-job’ enables you to provide your
partner with more stimulation than just ‘deep throating’ him. In addition,
you are saving your jaw a lot of work. Using
your hand and mouth actually enables you to become more creative.
You can have your hand and mouth moving in the same direction, opposite
directions, sideways. In addition, you could use your mouth on his balls, while
your hand is focused on the tip of his penis. Lastly, you can use one of your
fingers in his anus, as your other hand is on his ball and your tongue is
licking his penis. Trust me, with
all this additional stimulation, he will never even notice that you are no
longer even attempting to deep throat him. Remember, by taking less of him into
your mouth at once, you will a) no longer get sore and b) become more creative
in how you use your hands!
A common mistake that women make
is to rush into giving fellatio without the proper foreplay. By the time you
actually get around to putting your mouth on his penis, he should be so aroused
that he will not be able to last very long.
The build up is an often forgotten about phase that is critical. Thus,
take a few minutes and ask yourself, prior to giving fellatio, how have you
excited him? In what ways have you enticed him to want sex?
do not forget, you can always tell your partner that it is a ‘turn-on’ to
watch him masturbate. Then, when he
is close to orgasm, you can join him by placing your mouth over his penis. This
way, you do not have to do all the work yourself. In addition, to getting him to
help bring himself to orgasm without his knowledge, you can also be taking notes
on how he likes to be touched. Sometimes
watching is more informative than verbal communication.
tip was written by Alex Robboy, LSW
Sex toys & oral sex (written by Alex Robboy LCSW,CAS)
My friend and I are in a long distance relationship, about 1000 miles from each
other. I'm not seeing anyone else. I feel pretty confidant that he
is being faithful to me. I feel as though I am experienced sexually more
than him. We are both in our mid forties. I would love to do oral
sex on him. He said he has only had it once in his teens and it hurt. Do
you have any suggestions on how to approach this. I thought of showering
together and then doing it as I start to dry him off? I just don't want
him to think of me as a freak because I would enjoy giving oral sex to him, and
possibly lose him? We have been together for over a year and a half now.
I also would like to introduce some toys and a swing, but again I don't want to
move to fast and frighten him away from me. He says he has only had
straight sex with his previous wife, different positions but no toys, games, etc
The last time we were together I dressed in a very provocative, erotic, fishnet
gown, that showed almost everything, along with high heels. His eyes lit
up like a Christmas tree, he was so moved that he had to sit down to compose
himself. So I knew he really, really liked it! So I thought maybe
he's ready for the next step? Oral? Or should I give this some more
time? He is such a nice guy. Very loving, caring, actually the man
of my dreams! He seems not to have
done a lot of different stuff sexually, and I don't want to run him away by
wanting to be a dirty girl sometimes! I am a real lady in public, but I
can be pretty naughty behind closed doors at times! :) Open for any and
all suggestions. Ms. Afraid
It sounds like you may have overwhelmed your partner. While he is very excited
to try out all these new things, he may also have some fears.
My guess is that on some level he believes oral sex and sex toys are bad.
To help him get over their fears you could try several different
approaches. The first is to understand where his views come from.
Take a sexual history. Find out how he learned how babies were made?
Orgasms? Menstruation? Wet dreams? Did his parents kiss each other in public?
What messages did he learn about women? Men? And what were his first experiences
of ‘love’ like? Simply understanding what things mean to each person will
help the two of you develop a framework in which to further discuss particular
likes and dislikes. Now that you have made yourself clear as to the types of
sexual behaviors that you would like to engage in with him, back off and let him
approach you when he is ready. Try
giving him a coupon booklet filled with sexy ideas. When he feels ready he will
‘use the coupon’.
1) An hour massage, with you dressed in a sexy outfit of his choice.
2) An hour massage, with you dressed in a sexy outfit of your choice.
3) After having sex, breakfast in bed. The
type of food is his choice.
4) After having sex, breakfast in bed. The type of food is your choice.
5) A bubble bath wit you drying him off by kissing all of his body parts.
6) An evening of tying each other up. You provide the equipment.
7) The use of flavored condoms (which can be purchased at our
sex toy shop
8) Fifteen minutes of receiving oral sex
9) Fifteen minutes of giving oral sex
10) You get the idea.
The more coupons you can
create, the better off the two of you will be. People like options. Not to
mention you may even discover some things that your partner likes.
Fellatio (Written by Alex Robboy, LCSW, CAS)
I have been a subscriber for some time now, and I have waiting for someone with
a similar problem to write in and ask for advice. OK, nobody wrote so I have to
ask for advice. I have been going out with this wonderful girl and she
wants to perform fellatio on me. The problem is she has never done it before and
the other night was almost a disaster. How do I explain to her what do do
without hurting her feelings? We have both been married before and divorced. She
is 37 and I am 51. In need of help,
Dear Need of help,
The most important thing you can do to help her learn is to be direct.
Without proper directions, she will have no idea what to do.
Imagine learning to read for the first time. It took many many years of
practice. You were not a born expert. Reading, like giving a good-blow job is a
learned behavior. Thus, try explaining to her that because she has never done
this before, she should not put the pressure on herself to be a born expert. You
do not expect this from her. Furthermore if she gives you a 'bad' blow job it's
more of a reflection of you because you didn't teach her well.
In the beginning, your goal is to simply get her comfortable with giving
you pleasure in this way. Thus, she should feel free to experiment. Other than
the basics that need to be explained in the beginning (eg – no teeth…this
hurts…) let her know that you are more curious to see what she naturally does,
before you start telling her what you like.
Let her know that some of your pleasure comes from knowing that she is
enjoying what she is doing, thus, you do not want to say too much in the
beginning. An excellent way to give guidance, is to play the A-B game,
(the game is located on this page) Another tactic is to make the whole
experience light by saying that the two of you will have to practice until she
'gets the hang of it'. Remember, no one knows how to give a blow job the first
time around. Thus, it's in your best interest to tell her what to do.
Lastly, remember, NEVER say to her 'that sucks'.
Instead, put everything into the positives. That felt really good.
I really like it when you do X. Or could we try Y.
Robboy, LCSW, CAS
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