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How To Have Good Sex, Inc.

HTHGS: Pregnancy & Relationships
Ask Lancie, 
Is it normal for a husband not to want to have sex with his wife while she is pregnant? It is a normal pregnancy, so it is safe for me to have sex.  Most of the time I hear how men are turned on while there wife is pregnant, but my husband won't even touch me in any sexual way, and it is getting frustrating. Any suggestions?
Andy Ray

Dear Andy Ray,
Although you may be experiencing a physically “normal” pregnancy, you are probably on an extreme emotional roller coaster.  The 40 weeks of gestation can be the most exhilarating and exhaustingly frustrating time in a woman’s life. (Having been pregnant last year at this time I can truly understand).

Yes, it is common for men to be sexually attracted to pregnant women.  They often enjoy the physical changes that are occurring and feel a close bond with the fetus, which is being nourished inside the woman’s body.  Not to mention, pregnant women are extremely attractive and sexual beings.

However, we cannot forget about the fathers when we are discussing emotional roller coasters.  It is normal for men to feel the same anticipations and fears that the mothers are experiencing.  Your husband may be feeling overwhelmed by the thought of being a new father, especially if this is your first child together. 

It is not uncommon for anyone to lose sexual interest when they are experiencing emotional stress.  Your husband may be afraid of hurting the fetus with vaginal penetration, or possibly physically making you uncomfortable; depending upon what stage of the pregnancy you’re in. 

Whatever issues your husband may be struggling with, my best advise is to communicate directly with him.  If he is feeling overwhelmed than the two of you can work things out together.  If he is concerned about hurting you or the baby, the two of you can schedule an appointment with your OB-GYN, to address his questions.  Communication is the key to making any relationship work and will become more important as both of your stress levels continue to rise.

Remember, you were partners before the pregnancy, and will need to continue to make each other a priority after your new bundle of joy arrives.

HTHGS: Sex mid-pregnancy

Ask Lancie, 
This is rag , I got married 8 month back . In the first two week  intercourse itself wife was pregnant . now she completes seven months and running of eight month carrying .  Is it advisable having sex till the birth of baby . myself and my wife also very much interested in sex. till date we are having one time a day sex .
    tell me your advise in this regards . i am interested having sex daily. I will wait for you early reply

Dear Rag,
    I don’t want our readers to think I only answer questions about pregnancy, but you did ask for a quick response and in this case I believe you need one. 
It is safe to have sex throughout your wife’s entire pregnancy.  However, the two of you need to make absolutely sure there are no problems with your fetus or your wife’s health.  The best way to find out this kind of information is to ask your doctor directly.
    If all is well, continue to enjoy each other as often as it pleases both of you.  Pregnancy often enhances a woman’s sense of arousal and orgasm, so the two of you should take advantage of this one on one time together before you’re too tired to kiss goodnight.
    A LITTLE KNOWN FACT:  Some couples have sex while in the early stages of labor to help alleviate some of the pain.  DO NOT ATTEMPT penetration if your wife’s water has broken, or a limb or umbilical cord is hanging out of the vagina.  Instead, call your doctor immediately.



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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS

Ms. Robboy is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of The Center for Growth Inc and How To Have Good Sex Inc.  Alex practices marriage and family therapy and sex therapy, and also conducts periodic seminars about human sexuality throughout the northeastern United States.

Ms. Robboy graduated from the University of Pennsylvania where she earned a Masters degree in Social Work, a Certificate of Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality Education and a Post-Masters Certificate in Marriage Counseling & Sex Therapy. Through the American Board of Sexology, she is a board certified sexologist and through the American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists a certified sex therapist.  Additionally, she is a licensed clinical social worker and a member of the American Board of Marriage and Family Therapy.


  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 

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