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HTHGS: Queafing (Written by Shan & Claude)

 Ask Shan & Claude,
well here is something humiliating, I kept it quiet for a while because I thought it was just me, but turns out it happens to other girls as well. Luckily this has not happened in front of a guy, once after sex the guy left the room to take a piss and out came this fart from my vagina, I was like, what the hell this better not happen again. Now I do not know what causes it, I am guessing its air coming out, but I mean can you give me some ways to prevent this from happening if a guy heard me do that I do not know what I would do but he would probably tell his friends or whatever. Please help, its not that big of a problem I have kept it quiet this long but I want to know how to make it not happen at all. Thanks.

 Hi humiliated,
Sometimes the body makes noise!  We assume that the noise is from air inside your vagina from the insertive acts with your partner.  We have never heard of anything that could be done to prevent it.  In some sexual positions it also sounds like the bodies are creating a fart.  The point being - all of this is “natural” and “to be expected.”  These things happen to many people all around the world and we hope that you and your partner can appreciate that.  Is there any way you could communicate with him about your anxiety?  You mentioned you were scared he would tell people.  Do you think he would really want to humiliate you like that?  If your answer is “yes” we are concerned that you may be with a person who doesn’t care for your feelings and privacy.   Maybe that has a little to do with your concern?

 We always hesitate to suggest anything that even approaches dishonesty – but we suppose if you were that concerned about it – you could just “pass it off” as gas (pun intended).  It wouldn’t be completely honest and it would also not help you deal with or look at whether or not you trust your partner.  Also, it would rob you of enjoying some of the fun of being in a relationship and being able to laugh about and enjoy the human body.  It will be up to you, all we can say is – it happens.  We hope you feel comfortable enough to explore the issue with him openly and honestly – humor generally helps in these situations!  J Shan & Claude Colestock



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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS
"Alex" Caroline Robboy is a certified sex therapist through the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists and an American Board Certified Sexologist. In addition, she is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and a member of the North American Society for Psychological Obstetrics and Gynecology.


  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
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