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Personal Satisfaction
How To Have Good Sex, Inc.

HTHGS: Personal satisfaction (written by Erin Black, BA)

Ask Erin,
I noticed that you specialize in personal satisfaction. . .I have a bit of a dilemma, and I'm sort of embarrassed since I've never told anyone before. So here it goes. . .I started pleasuring myself at a young age, so it was only natural that I would move onto electronics a little earlier than most females. Now I can't live without them. I have even gone so far as to get the panties with everything built in so that I can pleasure myself at class and work without anyone noticing. . .or so I thought. My geology prof asked me to wear them to a meeting, how he noticed I don't know, and I can't say I mind, except for now he has the remote during lectures. I can't contain myself anymore because I never know when it's coming. I know the obvious answer is to stop wearing the panties, but I just can't help myself. Please, any other ideas? Sincerely, Always cumming in Atlanta 


Dear Always Cumming in Atlanta, 
First and foremost, I think a healthy decision would be to ask for the remote back from your professor or stop wearing the panties to class. The unexpected distraction cannot be good for your attention or your professor’s attention to the class. Think about how your pleasure may be affecting other people in a negative way and this may help you to refrain from wearing the panties to class anymore. Self-pleasuring is fabulous but when it starts to disrupt your life such as class or work then there could be a problem. 

There are a number of things you can do to help yourself out of this situation. You have already taken the first step by talking about your problem. You can take this a step further by seeing a sex therapist to talk about your concerns but if you are not ready for that step there are things you can do privately. 

It is a matter of will power to break a habit that is disrupting your life. When you have the urge to masturbate do something else instead – pick up a book and read, turn on the TV, go for a walk, clean or anything you feel that will take your mind off masturbating. Try cutting down to masturbating only at home and not at work or school. Or try masturbating only a certain number of times a day, less than what you have been doing. Slowly work your way to the point where you are only masturbating at home twice a day or something that makes you feel like you are back in control of your self-pleasuring. Breaking any habit is all about will power and the desire to change. 

In no way am I saying that masturbating is bad. Masturbation is an excellent way to get to know your body and what you like as well as a great way to release stress and help you feel better about yourself. However, when masturbation becomes your whole world and it disrupts your ability to function there is a problem.  

Try some of the tips I listed above, read up on the topic  or talk to a sex therapist  about your concerns. Remember that masturbation is healthy and wonderful but maintaining control over your urges so that your life in school and work does not suffer is also very important. 




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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS
"Alex" Caroline Robboy is a certified sex therapist through the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists and an American Board Certified Sexologist. In addition, she is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and a member of the North American Society for Psychological Obstetrics and Gynecology.


  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 

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