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Sex for the first time


HTHGS:  First time (written by Amanda Lambros, BA)

Ask Amanda,
I am just wondering where do I put my penis when having sex. I ask this because it is going to be my first time. Also how should I go about doing it. Thanks, Inexperienced 

 Dear Inexperienced,
First and foremost, if you are having sex, I strongly suggest using a condom. There are great instructions on how to use them in the box. This will prevent diseases such as HIV/AIDS, hepatitis and other things like warts, it will also prevent pregnancy (if you are having sex with a girl).  

 If you are planning on having sex with a girl, the penis goes in the vagina. There are three holes ‘down there’ but two very distinct ones. One is the vagina and the other is the anus (better known as the ass hole). If the girl is lying on her back, the anus is the one closest to the floor and the vagina is the one closest to the public hair. By simply putting your fingers in that region, you should be able to tell which one is which because the vagina is willing to open and the anus has strong muscles around it that make it difficult to open.  

If you are planning on having sex with a boy, the penis goes in the anus (which I described where you can find it above). 

In both situations, I would suggest that you insert the penis once vaginal lubrication (for women) or KY type lubrication (for men) is present. This avoids tearing of the skin.  

Advice about how you would go about 'doing it' , I would suggest that your partner be relaxed and that you both consent to having sex (want sex). Use a condom and enjoy! 

Hope I've answered your questions.  




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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS
"Alex" Caroline Robboy is a certified sex therapist through the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists and an American Board Certified Sexologist. In addition, she is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and a member of the North American Society for Psychological Obstetrics and Gynecology.


  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
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