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Past Tips


                    Finger Paints

  • Finger Painting (written by Alex Robboy, LSW)

  • Does Finger Painting Stain (written by ALex Robboy, LSW)

HTHGS: Finger Painting
Finger painting is not just for children, it is for adults too! Adults of all sizes, shapes and forms can enjoy the benefits of finger painting. Finger paints are a great way to let loose, get dirty and express yourself in ways that you used to do as a child all the time. Sometimes a picture is worth a million words. Who knows you might even find out that you have some artistic abilities. When is the last time you attempted to paint a truck? A flower? Or for that matter your lover? If you can not remember the last time (or just want to have fun) then finish reading the tip and go to the telephone and call your partner to set up a date. 

The all natural blue, red and yellow finger paint set

To make all natural (and edible) blue, red and yellow finger paints: 
Place a small amount of dark sesame oil in a pot and heat it up. Add one cup of blueberries and a pinch of sea salt. Saute them for about 4 minutes. Add enough water to just cover the blueberries. Bring to a boil. Then reduce the flame to low, and simmer for several hours. The blueberries should become very sweet tasting. During this time, occasionally check the blueberries, because you may need to add small amounts of water to prevent burning. Add water as necessary. When the blueberry paint is done, allow to cool. To make red finger paints, use strawberries, and to make yellow paint use apples. The part about this is that these paints can be made at home, your partner will never realize what you are doing - he (or she) will just think you are having fun cooking, and most importantly - it tastes really good! If food is what fuels your body - why would you want to put anything into your system that isn't 100% natural?

The all natural paint brush set: 
fingers (located on your hand) pita bread (bought in a store), daikon (also purchased in a store). Fingers are fun because they allow you to directly put energy into what you are painting. In addition, they come in 10 unique sizes - all you have to do is choose one that feels right at the moment. Pita bread is tasty for eating the paints off your lover (and fun for feeding your lover), and daikons, when cut can be used to make stencils. 

Ask him (or her) to come over tonight at 9pm. If he agrees give him the following instructions: 
A) Arrive clean (as in, freshly showered)
B) Wear clean clothes that can get dirty 
C) Bring a blind fold 
D) And flowers (the flowers are for you!) 

When your partner arrives, ask him to take off all his clothes and fold them neatly in a corner. After he has done so, ask him to put the flowers in a vase - and put them where-ever you think they would look best. Next, have him put his blind fold on. You may need to help him with this. Once he is fully unclothed, and blindfolded, spin him 5 times fast around in a circle. Then walk him around. Once he is confused as to his whereabouts, bring him to the dining room table, spread out a large towel and help him crawl onto it. Once he has made himself comfortable (for some people this may mean wearing socks - socks can keep you warmer - for others it may mean lying on their stomach, and for others on their sides or backs), dim the lights, put some soft music on, bring out your paint set and take off his mask. If he asks what you are doing, tell him you are about to begin your work, and you need him to be quite - or he might disturb you. Then begin painting. You can begin anywhere on his body. Remember each time your fingers touch his body (or one of your other paintbrushes) you are stimulating your 'work.' Play with it. 

If you are unsure how to begin, start by painting a blue circle around the belly button. Then paint a slightly larger yellow circle. Then a red circle. Keep getting bigger. After 6 circles, stop. Draw a huge red box around the left breast. With the blue pain fill it in. Once you start to approach the nipple, switch to yellow paint. On the inside right thigh draw a house. On the inside left thigh draw a flower. Remember, each time you make a mistake - you will need to use your tongue to fix it! Or if you partner is hungry, you can use your pita bread to wipe up the mess and feed him with it. Paint his genitals last! Depending upon your relationship with your partner, you may want to take a picture of your art work (without the face ) …. Some partners will enjoy having their picture taken, others will not. Make sure you ask first, and respect your partners decision. 

For the more adventurous people (ideally two men and a woman, or two women and a man) 

Person "A" is the table. To become a table, he will get down on his hands and knees (as if he were going to crawl) and his back turns into the table. If the man has lots of back hair (and he gives you permission) shave him. A shaved back, creates a smoother table. For your meal, no silverware or plates are needed. This helps the energy directly pass between the table and your mouth. No artificial things like glasses, plates or silverware will be able to get in the way. While some food temperature variation is important, make sure that none of the food being served on his back is too hot or too cold. 

Once the meal is served on person "A", person "B" and "C" will feed each other. Don't forget to suck your eating utensils clean (as in, after each mouthful, please suck on the fingers that were used to feed you).

 Every once and a while, person "B" or "C" could also wipe their hands clean somewhere on the table, preferably, on the inside thighs, along the belly or if they prefer, they could have the table suck their fingers clean. And if you so happen to get into a food fight, the table can also be used to clean the genitals with his/her mouth. I highly recommend having person "C" receive toe sucking from the table, and genital stimulation from person "B". Throughout dinner, please request that the table remain stationary. It is only after desert has been served that the table will be allowed to move. 

For desert, person "B" will crawl under the table and suck on the nipples (finger stimulation is good too). At the same time, person "C" will crawl between person "A's" legs and suck on his (her) genitals (again finger stimulation can also be a good thing). There are lots of variations to this. The one important thing is that both person B and C will be playing with person A at the same time. 

This tip was originally written by Alex Robboy, LSW

HTHGS: Does Finger Painting Stain?

Ask Alex
A friend of mine just forwarded me your "Finger Painting" letter you sent a while ago (a year?). I think this is very interesting (as is your website), but would this natural paint stain? You know after picking raspberries your hands get red and even when you wash them, the red stays! Anyway, does it stain or not? This is my question. So keep the good work! An avid reader - David Ferland McCollough

Dear Ferland, 
Yes, the natural paint set may stain a bit. If you prefer a non-staining type you can go to any sex toy shops and purchase a ‘paint set.’

These will wash out of sheets.  Personally, I like the home-made set, particularly because it is free.  I guess I have been a student for too many years and think it is strange that one has to ‘buy’ something to have good sex. Good sex, in my mind, only requires a creative mind and a willingness to experiment!


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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS

Ms. Robboy is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of The Center for Growth Inc and How To Have Good Sex Inc.  Alex practices marriage and family therapy and sex therapy, and also conducts periodic seminars about human sexuality throughout the northeastern United States.

Ms. Robboy graduated from the University of Pennsylvania where she earned a Masters degree in Social Work, a Certificate of Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality Education and a Post-Masters Certificate in Marriage Counseling & Sex Therapy. Through the American Board of Sexology, she is a board certified sexologist and through the American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists a certified sex therapist.  Additionally, she is a licensed clinical social worker and a member of the American Board of Marriage and Family Therapy.


  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 

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