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        EROTICA                    

For those of you who believe that their sex life is getting stale and think that you have done it all, keep reading. Tonight, is story time . . . . Therefore, sometime during the day, take your favorite erotica book and hide it under your pillow. If you have never read any erotica before, you may want to try Ruby Fruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown. This is an erotic lesbian smut book which is tastefully done. Another favorite is My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday. This is a collection of women's sexual fantasies. And as you can imagine, sexual fantasies, regardless of whether or not they ever happen can be quite arousing.

Now tonight, with or without your partner's knowledge you should find a way for the two of you to slip into bed at least forty-five minutes before your typical bedtime. Once in bed, slip your hand under the pillow and grab the carefully placed book and candle. Then either ask your partner to read out-loud to you, or you can read out loud to your partner by candle-light. The purpose of tonight's reading is not to end up having wild mad passionate sex, but rather a way to begin to add new elements to your sex life. Try using the reading as a way to get comfortable enjoying something erotic together. Do these books/stories excite you? What idea's did you gleam from them? Which ones would you want to try? Try sharing with your partner your thoughts about what the characters did. Is there something that they did that you always wanted to try, but were too afraid to ask for? What are your sexual fantasies?

Again, make tonight story time. Again, pull the erotic book out from under the pillow. But this time, allow the words in the books to fully arouse you. Let your hands wander and touch your partner as she/he reads/listens. Mid-story, stop reading and start calling your partner by one of the character names in the books. Let yourself slip into character and finish the story in a way that makes sense to the two of you. This game is very similar to the games that 5 year olds play when they watch cartoons and they assume the roles of their favorite character, or they play house, or doctor or even cowboys and Indians. Allow the kid in you to emerge and play. Play like a little kid and let the erotic stories guide you.

Tips written by Alex Robboy, LSW

 

 

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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS

Ms. Robboy is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of The Center for Growth Inc and How To Have Good Sex Inc.  Alex practices marriage and family therapy and sex therapy, and also conducts periodic seminars about human sexuality throughout the northeastern United States.

Ms. Robboy graduated from the University of Pennsylvania where she earned a Masters degree in Social Work, a Certificate of Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality Education and a Post-Masters Certificate in Marriage Counseling & Sex Therapy. Through the American Board of Sexology, she is a board certified sexologist and through the American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists a certified sex therapist.  Additionally, she is a licensed clinical social worker and a member of the American Board of Marriage and Family Therapy.

 

  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to alex@howtohavegoodsex.com and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 
                                                                                    

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