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Anal Sex
How To Have Good Sex, Inc.

  • Anal Devices (Written by Shan&Claude)
  • G-Spot stimulation via anal sex (Written by Shan&Claude)
  • Anal sex (written by Shan & Claude)  

  • Anal sex

  • Anal sex / Anal Pleasure (Written by Alex Robboy, LSW)

HTHGS:  Anal devices

Ask Shan&Claude ,
My husband and I both enjoy this website and the tips it provides. Recently we have been experimenting with anal sex and such on me, but we are interested in doing the same with him. The question we have is 1. do we need to buy special anal probes for him, 2. do they have to be male specific? Also, should I introduce anal pleasure while I am giving him a blow-job? I appreciate your help and advise.

Dear anal advice ­
 Great questions!  There are a variety of anal pleasuring devices!  Some are marketed for men and some are marketed for women ­ but that is just marketing.  Use whatever appeals to you and him.  There are things that vibrate and butt plugs and dildos etc… There is a good book called Anal Pleasure and Health and a great video called “Bend Over Boyfriend.”  A good website for you to checkout would be “goodvibes.com”  Hope that helps you and your partner have fun.  Only he will be able to tell you if he wants you to introduce anal pleasuring simultaneously with oral pleasuring ­ but it sounds like a good idea to us if he likes them both!  Have fun figuring it all out!  
 Shan&Claude

HTHGS: G-Spot stimulation via anal sex (Written by Shan&Claude)

Ask Shannon & Claude,
My question concerns g-spot stimulation via anal sex. I have read in several places that the g-spot in women is more highly stimulated through anal sex due to the thinner tissue walls in the rectum. This confuses me because my recollection of the anatomical structure of the vagina tells me that the g-spot is located on the "roof" of the vagina. However, in order for it to be stimulated anally the g-spot would have to be on the "floor" of the vagina. Is there something I'm missing here? Are there two g-spots, or is the spongy tissue of the g-spot area actually circuitous around the vaginal area, or is this a totally incorrect statement????

I have had anal sex with women and they have had very powerful orgasms even without any kind of accompanying clitoral or vaginal stimulation, but they say that orgasms through g-spot stimulation in the vagina feels different to the orgasms achieved through anal sex. Basically, I don't get it. Yours, M.

Dear M,
It is very possible that with the penis or other penetrating(s) object that the G-spot could still be stimulated.  The membranes are thin and in that area of the body there isn’t anything thick  (like a bone) separating the body parts.  The pressure can be felt and transmitted throughout the area.  Without anything in the vagina the penis or dildo could definitely put  “pressure” on the G-spot which could be very enjoyable to some women – so much so that they orgasm.  The penis or toy would not necessarily have to be directly touching the G-spot.  Imagine if you got a massage under a down comforter.  You wouldn’t feel as much sensation during the massage – but you would still feel generalized pressure – same thing here.  Also, remember that orgasms and pleasure are more in the mind than of the body.  Some people orgasm because of their thoughts and ideas – not from direct stimulation to a particular body part.  Hope that helps, Shan & Claude

HTHGS: Anal sex (written by Shan & Claude)

Ask Shan & Claude,
My boyfriend and I want to have anal sex. We tried it once with lubrication, and he told me to guide him because he did not want to hurt me, so he moved very slowly. The pain was so bad and the stretching feeling was horrible. I went to the bathroom, and I was bleeding a little. I know a lot of people do it a lot, but was what happened to me normal? I really want to pleasure him by having anal sex, will I eventually get used to the pain if I keep trying? Thank You

Dear wants anal sex to work,
Yes, what happened to you is normal.  The anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina.  With practice it will get easier.  You will learn to relax better; your body will grow more accustomed to accommodating his penis.  Some suggestions are to have him use a lot of lubrication and loosen you up first with his fingers or a sex toy like a small vibrator or a butt plug.  Also, some porn stars recommend giving yourself an enema beforehand ­ because there won’t be anything in the colon to get in the way.  Slow and steady should help.  If it continues to make you bleed or cause you pain we would advise you to stop ­ even if you want to please him!  Likewise, if you are bleeding that is a way for you to contract any or all sexually transmitted infections that he may or may not have.  Make sure to use a latex condom or get tested together or put methods in place that protects you from diseases and viruses!  I know you probably love him ­ but this is your life and your health.  Look out for yourself ­ there is only one you! Shan & Claude

HTHGS: Anal sex

My boyfriend and I wanted to experience anal sex for the first time and so tried it we used a lot of lube and he went really slow but it seemed very uncomfortable and it hurt,  I have heard from many friends that it feels good but I have noticed when I tried it, it burned and it felt like I was going to take a poop haha! is this normal? I do enjoy his finger inside it while we have sex sometimes so I thought I would enjoy anal sex but it just didn't feel right! any suggestions on how to make it feel better? dayze

Dear Dayze,
If it hurts - it hurts!  Your friends could enjoy a lot of things - that doesn’t mean that YOU DO!  It sounds like you did just about everything right and it still hurt.  If you were seriously dedicated to making “it happen” you could try it some more ­ practice makes perfect.  But, some people just never enjoy it ­ even if they can do it!  What you felt was totally normal by the way.  Keep up the good questions  ­ Shan & Claude

 

 

 

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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS
"Alex" Caroline Robboy is a certified sex therapist through the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists and an American Board Certified Sexologist. In addition, she is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and a member of the North American Society for Psychological Obstetrics and Gynecology.

 

  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to alex@howtohavegoodsex.com and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 
                                                                                    

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