Free Sex Tips
Newsletter
Sex Tips
Free email
Accounts
SexTherapy
Books
Philosophy
Workshops
Advertise w/us
About
Warning
ContactUs
To post our content on your website
____
How
To
Have
Good
Sex!
Past Tips |
|
Sexual Positions
- Woman on Top (written by
Shan&Claude)
- Swan position (written
by Shan & Claude)
- Sex
Positions (written by Alex Robboy)
- Sex tips (written by Shan
& Claude)
- Missionary position (written
by Shan & Claude)
HTHGS: Woman on top (written by
Shan & Claude)
Ask
Shan & Claude,
Hey there! I've got a bit of a problem that I hope you can help me with...My
partner and I have a great sex life, but I feel kinda guilty because he always
does all the work. By that I mean I never go on top. I have explained to him
that I feel very self conscious when on top and because of this I can't feel
aroused. He says that it doesn't matter, but to me it does because I want to try
new positions. I was just wondering what is the best way to please a man when on
top and is there any way I can lose that self conscious feeling that's obviously
holding me back?
XxThanksxx
Dear
Part 1,
Sometimes
new things do feel a little awkward or embarrassing because they are new. We were not sure if being on top did not give you pleasure or
because of your self-consciousness you were unable to be pleasured while on top.
You
originally wrote about your guilt that your boyfriend did most of the
“work.” Did you tell your boyfriend that you want to try new
positions or did you tell him you felt guilty because he does the “work?”
The difference is huge. Does
he know that you want to try to explore new positions and ways of giving and
receiving pleasure or does he think that you feel bad because he is getting the
workout? It may benefit both of you to talk about what you want and
how you both feel. Communication
can be difficult to initiate but it tends to lead to increased comfort with one
another and with the acts being performed.
Without some degree of comfort there is usually little chance of
pleasure.
There
is not really any magic secret to what you will like on top – that is for you
to discover. One hint that may help
you is that instead of you going “up and down” there is a way to grind your
hips horizontally that will give him the same friction and sensation and will
simultaneously grind your clit into his hips which you may enjoy.
Some women find it easier to orgasm on top. We would speculate that it is because it puts the rider in
more of a “power” and control position.
It also may allow you to better control the speed, angle, and depth of
penetration, which may help you, experience pleasure.
Whatever
position you get into during sex one thing that may help you will be to focus on
your pleasure – not on how many positions you know, not on the nagging guilt
of your boyfriend doing more work, not on whether he is being pleasured, and not
on feeling a little embarrassed. It
is important to communicate about such things – but the focus should be on
your sensations and pleasure. You
can do it! Enjoy! Shan&Claude
HTHGS:
Sex tips (written by Shan & Claude)
Ask Shan & Claude,
I am with my boyfriend now 8 months and we have sex basically everyday. We
basically do a few positions, but nothing too crazy. When I am on top of him, I
get self-conscience, like I feel like I'm not doing a good job. He seems to
enjoy it, but I think its an act, we have good communication, but I don’t know
if he would admit to me that he doesn’t like it when I’m on top because he
wouldn’t want to hurt my feelings...but I know he isn’t getting the
greatest. Basically, I am asking for a couple of tips PLEASE to give him the
ride of his life. Thank You
Dear ride of his life,
It sounds like you should talk to him and make sure he knows that you value his
honesty and that you are not made of glass! You claim you have good
communication but in the next sentence you write that you are not sure he will
be honest with you is that good communication? This is important
because if you think he may be lying about this what else is he holding back?
Trust is built on honesty so make sure to communicate and give him the
message that you reward honesty and not politically correct romanticism.
In regard to the ride it may take some practice. The way to find out if he
loves it is to ask! And for you to believe him you two must have an open
and honest relationship because it doesn’t help either of you if he just
says he likes it! There is really no secret that will totally change the
way you ride. There is one technique where instead of going up and down
you simply grind your hips back and forth so that you are more of less grinding
your clit on the area just above his penis. This will most likely pleasure
you more as well because your clitoris will be more stimulated than just by just
penetration. Good luck! Shan & Claude
HTHGS: Missionary Position
(written by Shan & Claude)
Ask Shan & Claude,
I have started having a sexual relationship with my boyfriend, I have been
sexually active for some time. I have a problem with my current boyfriend
missionary position is difficult and we cant always do it as I am on the large
side so we find it difficult to do it missionary, but we do it very well when he
is behind me what other ways of intercourse can we do because from behind could
get boring
.
Dear boring from behind,
We have heard from some large individuals that they enjoy having intercourse
while spooning/laying side by side. Nothing we write is guaranteed – you must
experiment and try to find what works for you and your partner and your body
types. We do not know of any, but suspect there is a forum on the web for
individuals experiencing similar problems. If there is not one – start one!
We get these questions frequently and there is a need for helpful
information.
You could be the expert
Hope that helps, Shan & Claude
Receive tips like the one
above in your mailbox on a weekly basis
|
