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Manual Stimulation
How To Have Good Sex, Inc.

  • Fingering a woman (written by Shan & Claude) 

HTHGS: Fingering a woman (written by Shan & Claude) 

Ask Shan & Claude,
 I have been going steady with my girlfriend for a bit over 8 months, and we have a good, strong relationship. the question I want to ask is that when I finger her, I don’t get any reaction from her and I don’t think she likes it. I ask her if she likes it and she keeps saying she doesn’t care, and I ask her if she wants it and she says she doesn’t mind, whatever I want. I tell her it is what she wants but she keeps saying she doesn’t care. Am I doing something wrong, or is it just that she might not be turned on by fingering. I would like to know how I could get better at fingering her and how to turn her on better. thanks for your time, Pete. 

Dear Pete,
Great question.  Most women do not experience a great deal of stimulation or pleasure from penetration alone (finger especially).  Most women report increased pleasure when the clitoris is stimulated (rubbed, licked, etc).  We understand you want to please her and that may be a way to start.  Likewise, maybe you could talk to her – because as you can tell it isn’t really hot to be with someone who just lets you do stuff to them – you want them to like it!  We know many people think this is a mandatory sexual behavior on the list of things to do.  But, hey if it doesn’t please her or you – why do it?  Try some other behaviors (in “safe” ways) to pleasure and be pleasured!   Shan & Claude



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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS
"Alex" Caroline Robboy is a certified sex therapist through the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists and an American Board Certified Sexologist. In addition, she is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and a member of the North American Society for Psychological Obstetrics and Gynecology.


  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 

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