How
to last longer
How To Have Good Sex, Inc.
*Needing
to last longer (written by Shan and Claude)
*Difficulty
maintaining an erection (written by Shan & Claude)
*More Erectile Problems
(written by Shan & Claude)
*Prolonged intercourse (written
by Shan & Claude)
*How to last longer (written
by other sexperts)
HTHGS: Needing to last longer (written
by Shan and Claude)
Ask Shan & Claude,
I am 24 years old and my Girlfriend is 43, I love her with
all my heart and would do anything for her. Right now we are having a hard time
because I am not getting a lot of hours at work and my checks are not that good .
And right now she is really pissed off at me because she is paying all the
bills. And I feel really bad about it I really don't want to lose her and to
beat all that when we have sex I cum really fast and she doesn't have a orgasm
at all and i know that she is really disappointed Every now and then I can make
her cum before I do. But that is really RARE and i just want to please her so
bad, There are a lot of times when we are having sex and I go limp if we have sex
for a while and I don't know what to do. I do have a big fetish with her wearing
stockings but she don't like wearing them because i cum really fast but I cant
help it drives me crazy feeling the nylon stockings rubbing against my legs. I
really want some good advice on what to do to make me stay harder longer we
tried cock rings (they don't work at all) and I want to make her cum every time
we have sex .what do I need to do. to get our relationship back on track and get
her from being mad at me and to make our sex life exciting. I just want to make
her every time we get in bed she wants me. I know that I am a good looking guy
and my Girlfriend is sexy as hell. Please help me out sincerely --- Greg
Dear Greg,
There are obviously many issues going on at once in this
situation. It sounds like you and her have some conversations ahead of
you. To start off with you seem really concerned about money. Males
are sometimes conditioned to think that they are worth only what they make and
making only a little money can contribute to some men feeling less than a man.
Some men even say it is emasculating and puts them in a weaker role than their
partner. This does not have to be the case. You need to recognize
that you are contributing to this relationship and that you are not how much
money you make! Just the fact that you wrote us shows that you are
concerned and want to contribute to this relationship. We hope that you
don’t continue to make money such a big deal. If the situation was
reversed and you made what you she makes would you be upset to share your good
fortune with her? There are many wonderful answers on this website about
how to condition yourself to last longer. There are many things you can do
to slow your orgasm or please her first. Do you perform oral sex on her?
Do you massage her clitoris?
That may help her orgasm but even if you do a lot of
stimulating it still may not result in her orgasming every time. That is a
very high goal to set. It is also a very goal oriented attitude towards
sex. Generally sex is best when it is not goal driven and just enjoyed and
appreciated one thing to another simply to have fun and for pleasure.
In regard to your stocking fetish maybe you could make that for special
occasions? Maybe when she really wants to drive you wild she could slide
them on? It sounds like you really love this person and we hope she loves
you as much. We hope that you two can begin having conversations that
address how it makes you feel when she gets pissed because she pays many of the
bills. There are things that you will both have to do to resolve this
situation. It will take work, and caring, and communication on both of
your parts. If she cares about you deeply she will want to put in the work
to see this relationship work out.
Shan & Claude
HTHGS:
Difficulty maintaining an erection (written by Shan & Claude)
Ask Shan & Claude,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. A little background info: he's
29, I'm 24. He is into open
communication about EVERYTHING and that's good. In the beginning there was a
time or 2 when we would be ready to have intercourse and he would lose his
erection. This upset him greatly. At first I just put it off as he just thought
about what was about to happen too technically. Now, actually for the past 3
months we've had sex about once a month. For various reasons (I was sick for a
while, then it'd be time for my period, etc.). We would both please each other
orally though. Recently, we've tried about 3 times to have sex within the last
month or so and both times he lost his erection either right as he was about to
enter me or during sex while switching positions. He swears it's not me. That
he's just as dumbfounded and he doesn't know what it is. HELP!
Dear
HELP!
You
sound frustrated and confused. That is normal in this situation. As we have
written before the body is a mystery. You can have great sex without an erection
as hard as iron. He may not know what is causing it or it could be a physical
problem. Most people would believe that it is psychological since he can get an
erection at other times. Is he under a lot of stress? Is he concerned about
pregnancy, aging, your relationship? Is he feeling guilty about anything? Was he
given harsh or negative messages about sex or sexuality as a child? Maybe if you
two really discuss this you will be able to identify something or things that
may actually be contributing to the situation. But, as we mentioned he may not
be able to single any one thing out. This sounds important to you so if this
continues to be problematic for you both we do recommend that you see a
profession in the field of couples counseling or sex therapy to help you resolve
this – it is one of the most curable conditions that sex therapists see! Best
of luck, Shan & Claude
For
other answers on how to last longer, please see http://www.howtohavegoodsex.com/how_to_last_longer.htm
HTHGS:
More Erectile Problems (written by Shan & Claude)
Ask
Shan & Claude,
I am an 18
year old Female who's been sexually active with my boyfriend for about a year
& a half now. We've been together for almost 2 years & have a very
healthy relationship. We've never had a problem communicating with one another,
especially when it comes to our sex life, until just recently. This past month
my boyfriend has been experiencing some erectile problems. He is sometimes
unable to maintain an erection and when he can maintain one, he becomes too
tired & can't finish. This may be due to the fact that he just became aware
of the fact that he's had a bad sinus infection & he constantly wants to
sleep. And he's also been a smoker for about 2 years now. He becomes frustrated
when I try to talk to him about the problem and says he doesn't know why this is
happening and neither do I for that matter. I don't know if his sex drive is at
an all time low or what's going on? Since he's 19 years old I feel at this point
in his life he should be at his sexual peak & it's quite the opposite. He
also mentioned that when he can cum, some of his orgasms are more intense than
others and doesn't know why!? I was very confused by this b/c my orgasms are
usually always very intense. I would greatly appreciate any advice or
conclusions you have to these problems. Thank you very much, Unsatisfied
Dear
unsatisfied,
It is completely normal for people to report that they have different
intensities (regarding orgasms) at different times. You were right to try to
discuss this with him and we recommend that you try to talk with him again when
you are both ready. Do not try to pressure him because that may add to this
situation. You mentioned he was sick. Do you function at your best when you are
sick or tired? There could be any number of reasons why he is having trouble
maintaining an erection. He doesn’t seem particularly worried about this. Why
are you so concerned? You have mentioned a couple of things that you believe he
is “supposed to be” (at 19… and so forth). People are complex and do not
follow rules or handbooks. He is what he is and being honest and kind and
supportive is sometimes all you can do – but the good news is that it is A
LOT!
Hope
that helps, Shan & Claude
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