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Premature
Ejaculation
How To Have Good Sex, Inc.
HTHGS: Premature Ejaculation (written
by Erin Black, BA)
Ask Erin,
I have a problem with not being able to go nearly as long as I would like to.
My girlfriend says that she doesn’t have a problem with it but I just
think that she doesn’t want to hurt my feelings.
I was wondering if there was anything that I would be able to do to
overcome this pre-mature ejaculation? I
don’t know what to do and it is disappointing to myself to be letting her down
all the time. If there is anything
I can do or if there is any remedies could you let me know.
thank you for your time. Sincerely, Shawn
Dear Shawn,
Recognizing that you have a problem is a great first step!
Having the desire and motivation to fix the problem is a great second
step! Now you have to do a lot of
work because premature ejaculation can be related to a number of things either
physically or psychologically and fixing a problem like this requires time and
effort. It sounds like you have a
supportive girlfriend, which will help you work through this.
First, it is not a bad idea to visit your doctor to rule out
any physical problems that may be causing premature ejaculation.
It is always a good idea to see a doctor at least once a year for a
check-up, anyway. After you have
done that I recommend doing some reading. I
can generally talk about some techniques but having detailed instructions right
in front of will probably be really helpful.
The book, Urge by Dr. Gabrielle Morrissey has a great chapter
called “Speedy Gonzales” that discusses techniques for fixing premature
ejaculation. For example, there is
a technique where the man or his partner will tease the penis to erection and
then squeeze the base of the head of the penis to decrease the erection.
There are several phases and I recommend getting the book for the details
as it is too involved to include here.
There is also another technique mentioned in the book is when the man
becomes aroused and then stops all activity or thoughts and lets the arousal
subside. The purpose of these
techniques is to help the man learn about what his body feels as he becomes
aroused and right before he ejaculates. By
understanding how his body reacts at different times during intercourse or
masturbation he can learn to control when he ejaculates, which controls
premature ejaculation! You can purchase Urge at http://howtohavegoodsex.com/
all you have to do is look under “our favorite educational books.”
If you do not think reading about any of these
techniques has helped seeing a sex therapist is definitely the next step because
there may be unrealized problems that you may not associate with sex and
intercourse. For example, stress at
work or within the relationship may be the cause or depression, negative sexual
experiences, performance anxiety or a number of other issues. To locate a sex
therapist go to http://www.howtohavegoodsex.com/therapist.htm
You have made some great steps in the right direction and I
hope I have been able to provide you with some advice that will help you
continue in the right direction. This
website also recommends several books related to problems associated with sexual
activities - http://www.howtohavegoodsex.com/books/htm
Erin Black, BA
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