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   Ask Hayley,

   I was diagnosed with herpes almost a year ago. I didn't tell my gyno that I had contracted them from a cold sore on my partners lip. My question is, is this the same as having contracted herpes from
   I do have another question. I'm starting to get serious with someone new. And I'm not sure how to go about this subject. Any suggestions?
   Dear Shelby,
   There's a long answer to your question, but I'll try to keep it simple. Herpes is caused by two viruses: herpes 1 and herpes 2. Most often (but NOT always) herpes 1 causes cold sores on people's lips and herpes 2 causes sores on people's genitals. This is not always the case, so without a viral sample from a sore, one can't know which virus is causing a sore. One important distinction is that sores caused by herpes 1 are usually less severe and heal faster. If you did get herpes-1 from someone, you're likely to have less frequent and shorter recurrences. In terms of telling your new partner my advise is to get to know him a little first and then just tell him. Don't make too big a deal about it, but be honest. You also might want to convey these facts: genital herpes is extremely common, approximately 22% of all adults in the United States have the virus(over 90% have antibodies to herpes-1). The catch is that less than half have significant symptoms, so they don't know they're infected If you want more information I recommend contacting the American Social Health Organization at 919-361-8488.
   This tip was originally written by Hayley Ph.D (c)


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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS

Ms. Robboy is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of The Center for Growth Inc and How To Have Good Sex Inc.  Alex practices marriage and family therapy and sex therapy, and also conducts periodic seminars about human sexuality throughout the northeastern United States.

Ms. Robboy graduated from the University of Pennsylvania where she earned a Masters degree in Social Work, a Certificate of Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality Education and a Post-Masters Certificate in Marriage Counseling & Sex Therapy. Through the American Board of Sexology, she is a board certified sexologist and through the American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists a certified sex therapist.  Additionally, she is a licensed clinical social worker and a member of the American Board of Marriage and Family Therapy.


  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 

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