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Tips for better Fellatio (blow job / giving head)

 HTHGS: Giving good fellatio 
              Secrets of a good blow-job


HTHGS: Giving good fellatio

Giving good fellatio can be much more complex than simply bobbing ones head up and down.


  • Irrumination Your mouth is a mere receptacle to his penis thrusts.
  • Your mouth is active . . . seeks out the most sensitive spots
  1. Glands
  2.  Head of the penis
  3. Coronal ridge (around the base of the glands)
  4. Raphe (the line running down the underside of the penis
  •  Change speeds
  • Change the degree of sucking (hard to soft)
  • Use your hand and mouth simultaneously (hand job / blow job at the same time)
  • Change his position
  1. Sitting
  2.  Standing
  3. Lying down
  • Vary the location
  1. In a closet
  2. While he is talking on the telephone
  3. In a classroom
  4. In the kitchen
  5. Outside
  6. Under the bed
  • Deep throat even though this is not a fancy technique, many people have difficulties doing this. Take in as much of his penis at one time as possible.

Tips written by Alex Robboy, LSW

 HTHGS: Secrets of a good blow-job

Ask Alex,
Every time I give blow jobs, my jaw starts to hurt. Is this because of the way my mouth is positioned on the penis? It's annoying to my boyfriend because I have to take breaks and he wants to hurry up and spill his load. How do I keep my jaw from hurting so much when I give oral sex? Thanks!

Dear Susie,
You are not alone. Most women (and gay men) have experienced jaw soreness from giving fellatio. In fact, it takes most people a few weeks of giving regular fellatio to not feel sore afterwards. In addition to practice, there are some secrets to giving good fellatio.  If you are a man, please stop reading here. This tip is for females only. 

Use your mouth for the tip of the penis, and let your hand to the rest of the work.  This technique is most effective when you lubricate the shaft of his penis with copious amounts of saliva.  The combination of a ‘hand-job’ and a ‘blow-job’ enables you to provide your partner with more stimulation than just ‘deep throating’ him. In addition, you are saving your jaw a lot of work.  Using your hand and mouth actually enables you to become more creative.  You can have your hand and mouth moving in the same direction, opposite directions, sideways. In addition, you could use your mouth on his balls, while your hand is focused on the tip of his penis. Lastly, you can use one of your fingers in his anus, as your other hand is on his ball and your tongue is licking his penis.  Trust me, with all this additional stimulation, he will never even notice that you are no longer even attempting to deep throat him. Remember, by taking less of him into your mouth at once, you will a) no longer get sore and b) become more creative in how you use your hands!

 A common mistake that women make is to rush into giving fellatio without the proper foreplay. By the time you actually get around to putting your mouth on his penis, he should be so aroused that he will not be able to last very long.  The build up is an often forgotten about phase that is critical. Thus, take a few minutes and ask yourself, prior to giving fellatio, how have you excited him? In what ways have you enticed him to want sex?

 Lastly, do not forget, you can always tell your partner that it is a ‘turn-on’ to watch him masturbate.  Then, when he is close to orgasm, you can join him by placing your mouth over his penis. This way, you do not have to do all the work yourself. In addition, to getting him to help bring himself to orgasm without his knowledge, you can also be taking notes on how he likes to be touched.  Sometimes watching is more informative than verbal communication.  

This tip was written by Alex Robboy, LSW


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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS

Ms. Robboy is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of The Center for Growth Inc and How To Have Good Sex Inc.  Alex practices marriage and family therapy and sex therapy, and also conducts periodic seminars about human sexuality throughout the northeastern United States.

Ms. Robboy graduated from the University of Pennsylvania where she earned a Masters degree in Social Work, a Certificate of Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality Education and a Post-Masters Certificate in Marriage Counseling & Sex Therapy. Through the American Board of Sexology, she is a board certified sexologist and through the American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists a certified sex therapist.  Additionally, she is a licensed clinical social worker and a member of the American Board of Marriage and Family Therapy.


  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 

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September 19, 2006