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Pregnancy & sex drive

HTHGS: Pregnancy and sex drive (written by Alex Robboy, LCSW, CAS)

Ask Alex,
I enjoy reading your newsletters and always have. My question would be....I am 4 months pregnant and have no desire for sex at all. DO you or your experts have any suggestions?

Dear MP, 
My first suggestion is to simply listen to your body.  Pregnancy causes all types of physical changes, including an alteration in hormones, which affect sex drive. Some people get hornier, and others less horny.  Try to figure out what your body wants.  For some women this may mean more cuddling, more physical stimulation or less touch altogether.  If you are worried about how your altered sex drive may be affecting your partner, you could ask him.  If he is having a hard adjusting find out what you could do to help him with this period so that he does not take it personally. (eg. Blow jobs, back rubs, cooking his favorite meal, letting him know he is special by writing love notes etc).  Remember, if you are not in the mood for sex, don't have it. With that being said, partnerships require finding pleasure in doing things that are meant to please your partner. So a little bit of give and take may be necessary. 

Alex Robboy LCSW, CAS


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The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS

Ms. Robboy is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of The Center for Growth Inc and How To Have Good Sex Inc.  Alex practices marriage and family therapy and sex therapy, and also conducts periodic seminars about human sexuality throughout the northeastern United States.

Ms. Robboy graduated from the University of Pennsylvania where she earned a Masters degree in Social Work, a Certificate of Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality Education and a Post-Masters Certificate in Marriage Counseling & Sex Therapy. Through the American Board of Sexology, she is a board certified sexologist and through the American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists a certified sex therapist.  Additionally, she is a licensed clinical social worker and a member of the American Board of Marriage and Family Therapy.


  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 

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September 19, 2006