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* Gift Ideas*

Ever wonder what you could get your partner as a total surprise? If this is you, keep reading. 

My favorite is flowers. You can pick them from your backyard, at the local store or online. If you prefer you could go for a store that has a little something for everyone. But if you know that you want to give your love and adult toy, then all you have to do is say "a sex toy" and presto - they are yours.

You could surprise your partner by having the hotel people 'deliver' a package... in the package should be a slinky thong underwear (for him or her)... and some hot oils. Then practice all of the sex tips that you have been learning about for the past year and a half!

As we get older, it gets harder and harder to find ways to say I am thinking about you.. Many people report that their partner already owns everything. If they can think of the 'right' gift, it seems too hard to choose the 'right' color, size, or style. Worse yet, the gift is out of the budget. Lastly, you may have already given that gift before. This tip, unlike previous 'gifts' does not focus on the material aspects of giving, but rather - the emotional aspects. This is a gift of love. By following the instructions in this tip, you are sure to bring romance, intimacy and an increased libido into the relationship.

1 ) Take a large piece of paper, and fold it in half. Your card, should now be in the shape of a traditional hallmark card (front, inside left, inside right, and back).

2.) On the front side, paste a picture of you and your partner. This picture could be of the two of you doing something silly, looking elegant, or just something unique to the two of you - (ie. pictures always turn out badly, you always are dressed in red the day of a photo - etc).

3.) On the left side of the paper, write a short note that explains to your partner the significance of this picture. This note might describe what is unique about your relationship, and how this picture reminds you of it. This picture might capture a special memory that the two of you had. This note might remind you of something that the two of you always did together. Lastly, this picture might represent how much the two of you have changed over the years. In other words, this picture tells a story about the two of you. Use this picture, and your words to evoke some memory, or bond that the two of you have that you want her/him to remember.

4.) On the inside right flap, wish your partner  your best. Then share with your partner some of the reasons that you love her / him. What makes this person so special to you? Is it the way she / he has always been there for you? Her / his humor? Etc. After listing at least 5 things (many people find this challenging)…. Then describe some of your favorite memories together. Include five memories. Of these five memories, two should be sexual experiences that you had together. For example, how meaningful it was for you: A) when she had her first orgasm. B) He showed you how to give better head. C) When the two of you used to be very quite having sex together, so as to not wake the kids. D) The time she showed up at your apartment with nothing on but a trench coat. You may run out of paper - so simply write on a piece of paper and fold it up, and include it in your card).

5.) On the back flap write "Produced and Manufactured [Insert your name here]. Inc"

6) If this is too much work, you could always send something on-line 

 If you prefer a more sexual gift

What about giving your partner body paints? Body paints are sexual, and can be extremely intimate and fun! Imagine painting your partner's entire body. On the neck you could draw lips and on her stomach cars, and on her breasts circles and on her vagina a rainforest. There are all sorts of designs you could make with the paints. One of the high points to body paints is that they come in flavors, which means that after you paint each other, you can lick off the paints!

One of the best ways to present the body paints as a gift is in a basket with all sorts of goodies, some sexual and some not. This way you will not overwhelm her. Include at least six of the following:

  • Body paints
  • A homemade mixed tape of your favorite romantic songs (with one or two goofy ones for laughs)
  • A Tooth brush with her name on it (or key chain or pencil with her name on it)
  • Her favorite candy bar, piece of junk food, or at the least some food item that she often craves
  • A small coupon book, with coupons for a hour massage, home cooked meal, mopping of the floors, brushing her hair . . . .
  • Bath gels and a rubber ducky
  • Fine wine 
  • A picture frame with a picture of the two of you in it
  • A pair of socks
  • A Diary
  • A book
  • A poem
  • A calling card so that she can keep in touch with you
  • A piece of jewelry that you know she had been wanting or a scarf
  • Candles
  • Massage gel
  • Ben wa balls
  • Edible underwear
  • Airline tickets with a romantic destination        
  • And anything else that you can think of The point is that this basket should be particular to her. It should include at least a few things that would help her to know that this is not a generic basket that you might have given to any girlfriend. Something about it should call her name.

If you want to go for the more advance version - in addition to giving your partner this basket . . . . . Ensure that she has the next 24 hours completely free. Tell her that she will need to bring with her a pair of ……….shoes and a …………colored bra. When you see her, you will give her the dress (that you purchased for her) to put on and wear. Then take her out to dinner. After dinner, instead of taking her home, bring her to a hotel room (or borrow a friend's house for the night). Once the two of you are alone, present her with the gift basket. The gift basket should contain a toothbrush and other toilet supplies that she may need and of course, the body paints. In the hotel room, or at your friend's house, pull out a bottle of wine, two glass's and play the homemade romantic tape that you made for her. By the end of this night, your partner should feel loved by you. This gift took a lot of time and energy to arrange.

Please check out our gift shop at .................

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____________

The Founder: "Alex" Caroline Robboy, LCSW, QSW, CAS

Ms. Robboy is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of The Center for Growth Inc and How To Have Good Sex Inc.  Alex practices marriage and family therapy and sex therapy, and also conducts periodic seminars about human sexuality throughout the northeastern United States.

Ms. Robboy graduated from the University of Pennsylvania where she earned a Masters degree in Social Work, a Certificate of Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality Education and a Post-Masters Certificate in Marriage Counseling & Sex Therapy. Through the American Board of Sexology, she is a board certified sexologist and through the American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists a certified sex therapist.  Additionally, she is a licensed clinical social worker and a member of the American Board of Marriage and Family Therapy.

 

  Our Philosophy sex is like dancing, it changes every time. It depends on culture, atmosphere and mood. Sometimes it is done alone, with a partner or in a group. It can be fast and hard or slow and soft. Sex is a combination of non-verbal negotiation and verbal cues: a scream, a twitch of the toes, or a flush of the face. There is no one 'right' way to move, only what feels good to all those involved. 
     The purpose of this site is to share information. Thus, if you have any ideas, thoughts or information that you believe others might benefit from, please e-mail your tip to alex@howtohavegoodsex.com and I  will be sure to include it on either our weekly newsletter or here on the actual website. 
                                                                                    

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September 19, 2006